Daily Mantras?

Does anyone else suddenly listen to a song, realise this is so catchy and with resignation play this approximately 1000x before you get sick of it and erase it from your playlist? 

Anyone?

You're On Your Own, Kid

A daily mantra and my current new obsession. Taylor has taken ‘Swift’ control (hehe get it?) of my Spotify playlists, it’s just rude at this point

You’re On Your Own Kid has got me feeling philosophical this morning 

At this exact moment in time, I’m sat in a supermarket parking lot writing this whilst listening to this song on repeat, am I basic for people watching and feeling inspired?

Don’t answer that. 

Real talk though, how does one stop themselves from self sabotage? 

Genuinely searching for answers this time 

It took me at 24 years old to accept that maybe I have a destructive personality. I shut down when confronted or shouted at and begin to go into myself to escape, I have no safe spaces. Although, I’m hoping this page can become one. 

I lack focus. I certainly lack drive and often wonder ‘why am I numb when I grew up so fortunate?’ 

I push people away when it feels like they care too much. But in that same wavelength, friendships I rely on more, than I can trust my parents to understand my mental health. I don’t resent them for this, they grew up in a different time, a different culture, how can I expect them to understand? My people pleasing compulsions are too entwined into my being for them to completely disappear, I am working on it I promise! 

I feel like that goal is most likely going to be out of reach for me to attain, well; at least this year. Maybe it can be filed away in that compartment of my brain labelled ‘works in progress’. 

Potentially, what I take away from my twenties is the ability to trust myself, my instincts, my knowledge. So many moments of my life has been accepting at face value everyone’s opinions and thoughts as gospel, disregarding my own. 

Agreed that my sense of humour is self deprecation, and I also agree that it’s important to not take yourself too seriously, nevertheless, doesn’t these type of jokes always hold a kernel of truth? At least, in the jokesters eyes? Eye of the beholder and such. 

Tis a tricky thing. To trust yourself. To fully, with 100% confidence feel like you’re not going to mess up. And even if mistakes are made, to persevere through them.